Wednesday, April 23, 2014

It's exam season for the upcoming months.Yes,you heard me right, months! and I am already preparing for exam.Well,to be honest,there actually isn't much time.The amount of workload that I have is crazyyyy.The subject matter isnt really hard,after changing my mindset from SPM for UOL style of exam,I have to change it again for CLP.The exams are literally a race against time and memory *sighhhhh*

Exams will be early-mid July.What am I gonna do after that? PARTAYYYYY. Hahahaha. Just kidding. I am totally not a party person in the sense of going to clubs or drinking alcohol. Never even got drunk before.Hahahahaa.

Am aimming and planning to go on vacations and have fun traveling and stuff :D Hopefully I will be able to do that. Am trying my hardest to study my ass off cause I want and foresee to have a tiny bit of R&R in May.SO, need to bersusah susah dahulu,and bersenang sedikit kemudian . Hahahahaha.

Just a slight update before I head to Dreamland as I am now feeling so hyper at 2am and I have no idea why. *sigh* that is why I am soooo not a morning person. I need to rewind back my sleeping clock though.Have been sleeping about 3-4 something lately,and hence today,i guess i am sleeping a bit early.

So so so addicted to songs from the Neighbourhood.Specifically : Lurk, Afraid (4e remix) , Silver and Honest.It's been on repeat the WHOLE day today. And for one last time,am gonna listen to it before i head to bed.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

23 but I insist that I'm only 21

hello hello,Once again I am about a month late in posting up updates. Looks like my resolution to blog more seem not to be working out so far.I have myself to blame for my love of procrastination. I have one or two draft posts which needs some touch ups here and there before I post them.

Well,I love the month of April solely because I was born on this month.Had a night class this year on my birthday so all birthday celebrations were celebrated either before or after the actual day.How did the celebrations go this year? A summary of it would be : food! the main theme for this year! hahaha.

Celebrated my born day a day earlier with my long time best friends : Ms Lee and Ms.Sweet.Had brunch with Ms.Lee at this baba&nyonya restaurant (called Lima Blas-which means 15 pronounced the baba and nyonya way) at jalan mesui (which has an awesome coffee shop called Feeka beside it! )  We ordered a set lunch where the main dish was tamarind chicken and after tasting it,i decided to order Pong Teh as I was curious as to how good it would taste. It was not up to my expectations and I was giving my opinion on it without realizing that the owner of the shop was kinda sitting behind opposite of me-seperated by a cupboard or something.

The unexpected moment that happen after eating was Ms.lee went around the shop to take some pictures and she saw this ice gems biscuits(?) i am not sure what exactly the biscuits were called,but it was these small biscuits with coloured sugar on top which i am sure all of you has eaten them during your childhood. (if you have not,then WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY FRIEND?!!!) . She wanted to buy some for me but the owner then just decided to give to her for free cause he said it's such an inexpensive food.And Ms.Lee then shocked me with it.I thought that she bought it in seremban and brought it up to KL to give'em to me..So I was super shocked to hear her story of how she got them later on.

Also,for some unknown reasons,when we were paying the bill,the owner decided to not charge us for the pong teh.Dont know if he heard my criticisms or what..We were dumbfounded that we kinda didn't ask the real reason as to why it was on the house.

Met Ms.Sweet for dinner and she came with 2 things that I never thought she and ms.lee had it all plan out. They decided to buy me : ROSES BY THEIR STALKS AND A BOTTLE OF ROSE WINE!! i laughed like crazy and was so shocked when I saw Ms.Sweet walking in with it.To be honest,I thought she had received the roses from her colleague at work and was about to say: Woahhh! you received flowers from work?!!!! When she said, 'Nah,this is for you'. HAHAHAHAAHA. I will never forget that moment.The epicness of it was beyond words.We had dinner and proceeded to have some coffee and cake at the Library Coffee and had some funny/interesting chilling session.These 2 friends of mine will never fail to amaze and amuse me.

Got a called from my aunt who's in UK on my birthday which i totally didnt see it coming.Oh, and my bro SENT ME A YOUTUBE VIDEO WITH CLIPS OF KOREAN STARS WISHING SINGING /DEDICATING BIRTHDAY WISHES ( it must have taken him sometime to find the vid) which was hilarious.No one asked me out to hang out on my birthay this year and so before class,i went to celebrate by myself with a little bit of starbucks and a salad wrap . Came home from class and my parents went to bed( as it was late).. and so i decided to make a birthday cake for myself with the ice gems biscuits as there were about 20 mins before 2nd April ends at 12am.

Had lunch with Ms.Leong at klcc to which she belanja me and we lepak and chatted for bit and it feels like such a long time since we've done these kinda stuff together =(( and had Johnny Rockets burger ( which IS SOOOO GOOOD) with my sis on Friday... The celebration continues on Saturday where I had lunch with Pei Nee,Siew Lee,and my birthday twins -Ah Chang & Hui Peng.Had korean food and Pei Nee and Siew Lee urprised the 3 of us with a lighted birthday cake! All 3 of us totally didn't see that coming.And I got birthday gifts from Ah Chang and Hui Peng-they used their books vouchers to buy me a book respectively.I was so touched and felt bad cause i didn't get them anything at all >.<

On sunday, yik yee belanja me lunch and for once we get to hang out and talk more other the the walls in my college building.It's not always we hang out after class cause we're usually either tired and rushing to go home or class just ended too late to have time to chill.Besides that,she's working..so it's hard to meet on a day where we dont have class.

Ooh, and way earlier before it was actually my birthday,my parents got my necklace which i received for my 21st birthday clasp fixed and bought a new pendant for me-which i seriously did not expect at all.It was a cluster of stars.And I LOVE IT!!

All in all,this year's birthday celebration was very memorable.I get to celebrate it with all the person that matters to me in my life and albeit it being all at different timing,each of them took the time and effort to celebrate it for me and with me.Also I received a lot of birthday wishes as well.Some which I didn't expect to receive because I thought they forgot or don't really care.

Words really couldnt not express how happy, thankful I am in having such family and friends in my life.

-with lots and lots of love,thank you-

Friday, March 21, 2014

this maybe something that does not make sense.

I just had this random thought a few days back,and thought that i better put it down somewhere before i cast it off my mind.

I read this quote/phrase/sentence back when i was in high school and I go by this thing ever since I get to know about it cause I totally agree with what I had read. It has something to do of liking someone of the opposite sex.Like when someone ask me if I love that person to whom I am attracted to/have a crush on,my usual reply would be like-- if i was crushin on that someone : Uhhh, like for now,I just know that I am attracted to that person,but I wouldn't say that I LOVE him, because I dont know him well enough to do that. I think I like him,but not to the extent of loving him.

The word 'I Love You' has been used so easily these days for people who are in relationships.I mean how do i put this,sometimes,I feel people overuse it and don't really understand the real true meaning of it..But to put myself in their shoes,maybe at that moment,they really think that that was love to them.

It just occurred to me the other day,when I thought about all of the things I wrote above that I have yet to find a person whom I know well enough and like them enough to the point that I am willing to tell the person that I love him. Don't get me wrong now of thinking I am in a rush of wanting to find that person... I do feel so when I get emo at times (usually its in the middle of the night or when I friends announcing they are in a relationship in fb,etc)

It's been sometime since I have a crush on a person -like  I was shocked myself when I start to think about it.Hahahahaha.. Plus,based on past experience,hmmm,I dont really want to simply declare that I am crushin on a certain person for at times,you perceive that person to be someone whom you thought they might be but it turns out that the person is someone who is totally different from what you thought they might be.So yeah...

I shall stop here before I go on and type something which when I read back in the future would seem totally embarrassing and what not...

p/s: its kinda late at night now,and I might not be in total right mind when i am writing this post so please excuse me if this post does not make a lot of sense somehow...
-peace out-

Monday, March 17, 2014

Trying

Trying to achieve some things on a bigger/greater scale,hence certain sacrifices need to be made.
I feel everything comes with a price-and that it is not necessarily in monetary form.
It scares me,it worries me.
But I guess I should not dwell to much it in and just try to face them face on when the moment comes,
Because when it does,that's when you know whether it was all worth it or not.

-with lots of love,peace out.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Who's your person?

Hello there,we're now in the March. This month for me personally is there seems to be a LOT of event I wanna attend but at this current moment,I don't think I will be attending those which I wanted to attend which pisses me off a little and makes me sad at the same time.

But oh well,we'll see how it goes. Can't have everything I want to just go my way at times right? Shall try not to be a brat about it and whine-though this requires a lot of effort.

Am looking out to the future of things I hope to experience to which I don't if it will really come true. That being so, I am scared as to what the future holds for me in many aspects. I just hope that I will be strong enough to embrace all that will be thrown into my direction.

Just finished watching Grey's Anatomy and unlike korean dramas which portrays non-existent almost perfect dream guys and relationships, I love it cause it shows how people deal with the hardest challenges in their lives and how hard is it to maintain a relationship and to actually find someone who just gets you and you doing the same towards that person. To put it in words, to just find a person who is your person you know? So yeah. I'm still looking for that person I guess.

p/s: may the force be with me this sunday! I really want to get a good seat for 2NE1's AON concert! That would be the only concert that I maybe attending for the first half of 2014 and before my exams and stuff. (so so so sad right? *sigh* )

-with lots of love,peace out-

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

How's life

A friend who I've not heard from sometime asked me a question one day : How is life?
I paused for a moment.Different thoughts starting popping up in my mind as I try and type out an answer.
It also occurred to me that it's been a long time sincesomeone asked me that question.

How is life ? ( how is my life?)
This is a very good question.
On one hand,the pessimistic side of me wanted to answer: My life is not so good right now.To be honest, I am not entirely depressed about my life , I can still smile and laugh at things,but when I am left alone at times,there's just a certain amount of unavoidable sadness and disappointment (?) that starts to creep in. I feel like I was suddenly thrust into the spoltight of having to act like an adult. A part of me can't help but think : I am to young for these kinda shit. I am tired.Can I not deal with these kind of stuff?

Those thoughts written above came into my mind and lingered on for a minute or two.I then said to myself : Let's not freak my friend out and let's be positive and let's interpret that question in a different perspective.

And so I replied : Life is ok.Just some stress is piling up in respect about my exams.

With that,momentarily I tell myself that I am fine. Life is good. I can get through this. I am a stronger person than I think I am and I need to be patient.

-with lots of love,peace out.-


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Some favourite quotes of mine as of late.

''Each person has only one life to live and that which occurs only once and never again..thus the ''lightness'' in being.''
- Milan Kundera : The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

''People live really diligently even though they know they're going to die.
Even though they know they will break up at one point,
When they love,they love like there's no tomorrow.
Those childish beings are exactly what people are.

Things will get better as time passes.It could even become as if it never happened.''
-My Love from Another Star-( a korean drama)

''So I build me a bubble,
Then build a world I know will hold''
-Lyrics from the song by Santigold :Shooting arrows at the sky.

 “When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future”.
 -Dian Fossey

-with lots of love,peace out.-


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart.


After having to deal with certain ordeals in life,
a thought or should I say a song title came to my mind.
''Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart.''

Yes,I thought I could,but I couldn't.
Instead I needed and wanted a hug in the process of trying to do so.

I don't know exactly why I felt the need and want of getting a hug from someone,
I am not exactly a person who does a lot of this in my life to be honest.
I just suddenly feel the want of someone holding me and to comfort me just for a little while
To get the feeling of everything is alright.Though shit happens,it's all good.

With that, I hugged my favourite pillow tight,
Assuring myself,things are going to be alright,
I should stay strong and try not to fall to much into the pit of self-pity
With that,I drift in and out of sleep to tomorrow with a new enthusiasm to life,
Trying to sleep with a broken heart.

Gone Too Soon

My brother brought back a new puppy a couple of days before 2013 ends.I was excited for it but the excitement and happiness didnt last for long.It ended too fast perhaps.The puppy is a boy cross terrier named Tori.

It was the first time my family had actually taken in a dog this young and we have zero experience as to how to handle it the correct way.I discovered that he was vomiting worms one day and he got sick and eventually passed away  early morning on the 4th of January.

It took me an hour or so to really process the fact.Upon hearing the news,I think my emotions and reactions just went numb ( I myself thought I was crazy for reacting so calmly) and I tried to go back to bed as I had class the next morning.It was about an hour later about 4 am or so that I finally accepted it and started to cry really hard and really realized that I had lost my dog for good.

I think I cried for an hour or so before finally drifting in and out of sleep and decided to skip my morning tutorials and just attend my lectures in the noon.I tried to stay calm in the train on the way to kl and as long as I dont think about it or so,I could control my tears which was a hard thing to do.

I just realized that this is the first time I dealt with a death of my pet.The first dog that I had,went it passed away ,I was too young at that time to really feel the effects of death I guess.

So,this hit me quite hard and I couldnt help but wonder if it was my fault that Tori died.I had to deal with this lost at odd hours and as much time I had over the weekend. It's certainly not a good way to start of my year in a way,but I will not give up all hope just like that.

We all I guess but would not wish for it to happen to all my close one, have to deal with a couple of rough patches/time in our life.Just so we could be a stronger person and have the determination and strength to want to live our life better than we did yesterday in my opinion.

Rest in peace Tori,you were gone too soon and I am sorry that I was not much of a use in easing your pain.

2014!

Hello there.It's the dawn of another New Year.I hope all of you had a great celebration. Here's to the next 300 over days.Let's go get it.

with lots of love peace out.